not a lot to report today.
Just your typical day off in which I did not get my laundry or my packing done for this weekend. going to work on that tomorrow, as well as my to do list.
I have a slight level of anxiety about what I need to get done and the work I will be missing, but what else is new? I always have angst about performance and my capabilities. That's why i decided to take on this little project, to get outside of what is holding me back.
I have a terrible habit of measuring myself based on living up to some one or some other entity's expectations. This is the thing that makes me think about running from my life at least once a week.
The fantasy is pretty much always the same. pack up the car with the family and the necessities and just drive off, not worrying about money, where we will sleep or how we will survive. Just figuring it out and saying to hell with anyone else.
In the fantasy we always end up having an amazing time, seeing the country and we do figure it out. At some point we end up on some farm or piece of land somewhere. We are in some gypsy type trailer. There are colorful awning/tent type structures off of the front. we are growing and gathering most of our food, we are thinner, & healthier. I have some crazy ass dread locks down to my ass and colorful flowy gypsy hippie attire and a clean face.
The makeup and beauty industry are not completely lost on me though because I am making creams and peels and sav's out of fruits and herbs and vegetables and selling them at farmers markets and things like that. The funny thing is out of all the times I have had this fantasy I cannot quite remember what mr. fix it does I just know he is there all hippied out and happy. Coolkid is a coolteen and she is self teaching herself and probably knows more then your average teen in traditional school. There is no Tv's, limited cell use. There is however music, and art, and photography, and sometimes there are friends.
It's a pretty damned nice day dream if you ask me. Makes me want to google how to give up all your worldly possessions and go full fledged hippie.... maybe I will.
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