snippet 7

I'm on my way to somewhere.

This week is going to be hella intense but i signed up for it. I feel like I am on the verge to self discovery and acceptance. I'm trying to get the hell on to what is next and i think I am on my way there. I can honestly say the last few months has been some of the most lost I have ever had, and I think I am pulling myself out of the hole. I'm finally trying just to get right with me.
Live for what inspires me, what feels right to me, what means something to me spiritually.

I spend so much damn time trying to be everything for everybody. I need to be what I need for me. that is what this week is about. me being what I need for me. I have this intense crash course class I am taking to just get this all out. get back to basics, and run with it. I used to have dreams, aspirations, passions. I used to believe I could do anything I wanted. I want all of that back.

I do not care about what it costs. I don't care about status. I just want to be happy and fulfilled in my life. I want to be someone I am proud to be.

I am excited to take this journey. I really am. I am going to put faith in the universe and just let it happen. What will be will be... que cera cera. I do not want to look back on my life fourty years from now and say i worked. I want to say I lived. I want to say i treasured every moment of my beautiful girl and inspired her. That I loved openly and honestly and that I have no regrets there.

Speaking of which totally had a change in perception today. So I have had something I wanted for a long time, that I thought was totally off limits I found out today it just turned out to be a lack of communication, and now I am going to get this thing I have wanted for so long and I am excited about it. For the brick wall that I thought was standing in my way.... you have no idea what you really are doing for me, and thank you.

What a change from yesterday! I am feeling so good about the weak ahead! I might be exhausted, but I truly feel like I am going to accomplish something.