Summer Lovin

Usually if you were to ask me what my favorite time of year was I would always say Autumn.

Autumn contains my favorite holiday's my birthday (yes, it's a holiday dammit!), Halloween, and thanksgiving.

For some reason though, I have been loving the summer months this year as much as a school kid on vacation.

I think one of the reason's is that this year has been so full of the some of the biggest highs, and the biggest lows in my life, and many of those high points, have been encapsulated in this season.......

 I have spent a lot of time at the beach; I feel as close as I can get to my mom there. This is so sad for me but also very healing. I spent a immensely healing time with my mom's best friend Doreen,  spent a healing weekend at home (the mountains) with one of my oldest and dearest friends & spent time in some of my favorite mountain places,  Just saw another friend that I love and do not get to see often; had great talks and beach time. :)
Had fourth of July with my hubby and friends.... & I have made some great connections and am working on really transforming some aspects of my life.

I have also decided after what seems like the whole of my life to stop hating my body or how I look and say fuck it. this has lead me to a lot of fun in the water in a bathing suit, no trunks, no t shirts or other coverings. Me, my jiggly cellulite ass and thighs are giving the world a middle finger and loving the skin I am in.

Now that doesn't mean I am still not working on loosing weight, I just am not letting my imperfectness hold me back from living; which I have been notorious for in the past.

I am loving myself more then I think i ever have, & appreciating my life and family more then ever. I cannot help that feel these things are gifts; perspective that a devastating situation has given me.

Sitting back and allowing myself to reflect and realize is good practice for me. It is good to know it is not all bad, even though that stuff sometimes feels so much more prominent.

I am trying to focus my intentions and my attention forward, to the possibilities I am creating:
New jobs, New home, Different lifestyle, Starting my own projects, maybe picking up some art, and just reconnecting with myself.

The nam myoho renge kyo has really helped with all of it, but i need to be more consistent.