living my life in a healthy way in every aspect of my life

I have been asked if I am pregnant twice in one weeks time. Oddly I am not upset, I see what I am doing to my body and I am very consciously trying to stop my impulse to stuff my face with my grievances.

Impulse control involving food has been hard for me this year, but it is definitely something i am tackling this week in creation of my possibility.

The other large thing I am working on is complaining. Negativity is been too present in my life. I am only hurting myself with my thoughts I need to re route them.

I came to the realization yesterday that all these small things or these things that i see as small, that I have been trying to get a hold on all are intertwined and connected to my need to be healthy in all senses as i am able as a human being.

I am craving a spiritual, physical, mental, emotional wellness to immerse myself in as my lifestyle. By realizing this I think that I will be able to connect and commit to what i need to do to make this wellness healthy life I want a reality.

I still do not have all the aspects figured out. But I am working on it. Will i move north? I'm not sure I will right away, but i feel like i will at some point.

The things that have been driving forces in my life..... I realized have not been serving me well. I have been expending my energy on the road to nowhere and status.

Now that I really feel I can set that aside, I know I can also give up my anger and my frustration.

In a week from now, I am going to be in San Diego packing up my mothers life. I have dreaded this for what seems like forever. But I am realizing now that in an odd way it might give me some closure.

My need to drag this process out has been for me like those last few years and especially those last few weeks.... I have been inflicting this turmoil on myself a bit because I cannot let go like she couldn't.

I know i need to now by doing what needs to be done. I cannot ever let go for good, but i think i can try to find some closure in this situation in the act.

I then plan to instill some healthy boundaries with food, exercise, and meditation.

nam myoho renge kyo.