mom #2

so yesterday my mom was in a terrible car accident my step mom that is.

I'm struggling with being miles and miles away from the situation and not being able to be there to keep everybody's head level I'm also struggling with the fact that my dad is a selfish selfish person I mean I love the guy but he's so selfish he's the most self centered person I've ever met in my life.

my mom my step mom I mean rolled my dads truck yesterday on the way to work we think that there was a deer that darted out on the road and that she pulled off on the shoulder to avoid the deer and had some loose gravel make her tires slide into a boulder which propelled her to flip the truck over she lost consciousness she doesn't really remember what happened and the only thing she knows is that a jogger was screaming in the window at herto give him her arm so he can pull out of the passenger side window.

so I know the only vehicle that my parents collectively had together is now ruined but to me its just a vehicle and this is my step mom the woman that raised me the woman that takes care of everyone holds our family together meanwhile my dad is worrying about you know getting a brand new car because he needs one and going on a vacation in September that he shouldn't even be thinking about right now and going to a high school reunion next weekend I'm like what the f*** like seriously why aren't you worried about my mom she's laying in a hospital bed and a cardiac unit of the hospital 200 miles away from your house if she got airlifted to buy a f****** helicopter and her face is probably swollen up and bruised and he's worried about vacation cars money I don't get it I love my dad but he's crazy and I wish I could be there so I can protect my step mom from the ass and I've actually found myself praying to my mom who passed away a few months ago today to be there with my step mom and protect her from my crazy ass dad I love my dad don't get me wrong but he's so selfish and self centered I don't know what he gets that from I don't know where he gets it from I don't know why he is that way if it was him in the hospital keep in accident he wouldn't be worried about all the stuff in if anyone else was worried about it he be pissed so I don't understand why he so concerned about the stupid things that don't matter I'm worried about whether or not my step moms going to be OK is she going to be on disability for a long time and there are they going to be able to pay their bills later and she going to be able to rest and relax of the without my dad harping and whining at her I've even thought of having her move here and giving up my bed with my husband sleeping on the couch or something or putting a bed in my living room just so she can recover away from my dad how sad is that like I guess I should be working on my landmark forum homework right now because this is definitely some sort of breakdown I know it and I don't know how the hell to get out of it i guess i just have to wait to see what the doctors say...

Fyi god. You can stop testing me now. Just cause i am strong enough to handle what i have been through, does not mean I deserve it.