its a fear that no one really understands. It's something I wish I knew how to let go of.
I am so afraid, I'm not smart, or good enough.... or that somehow I will make everything a mess.
My life on most days would be easier spent in my blanket tent where I can be safe and finally rest, because my mind is so fatigued.
Even though this all about that - I am going to practice something by replacing the rest of the page with some really positive things from my past. things that when I look back at them.... they make me feel safe, and loved, and good enough.
- Singing together while the house got cleaned or dinner was prepared
- Singing in the car ride on the way home
- Listening to America while driving in the RV
- Summer beach days with burgers and baby oil
- The promise of a place and time for us
- The promise that no mountain was ever high enough
- hearing you were ready for me
- munchkin
- dinners with you, and leftovers for home
- long talks especially late into the night
- Pizzelles
- Softball
- Cars and eight tracks
- hugs
- holy water at the entrance at church
- late night christmas wrapping sessions
