Breathing into possibility......

As the time inches closer to this new opportunity I feel the fear creeping up inside. It is an everyday battle to feel the fear, feel the doubt, feel the insecurity, and remain calm. remain in the clearing.

I see that big old desert sprawling up ahead of me and that self doubt nags from behind.
I have to constantly keep in check. I know what I am doing. I know it is the right thing for me right now... but all the doubts and negative voices don't leave.

I just keep steadying my breath. Being present to the gratitude for this moment... sitting in a rain storm in the middle of July... in a house I own, celebrating my child's birthday.

I remind myself I have notoriously told myself for years that I am less then I am; and the despite everything I have overcome, I have done a bunch of things I never imagined I could. I am a place I never imagined I would ever be.... and that I can continue that, I will be, do, and grow in ways I have never imagined I could.

I remind myself, that no matter what happens... I will be ok. I am a survivor. I am a warrior. I am smart. I am capable. I can do whatever I set my mind to. The only thing that matters is what I believe, what I think, and what I do.

I pray, to stay in this train of thought. To never let my inner fears and old self take the wheel again, and that god/the universe/that higher power above is watching over me. Will give me strength when I am weak, will guide me in the directions I am meant to walk, will fill my heart with love, gratitude, and grace everyday...


Stay in this place. stay in this place.

checking off vision board items

Sitting here with my daughter on her birthday and I am realizing the gravity of the choices I have recently made. This year the top priorities on my list were more time for family/family first, more fun, and finding a means of income that better serves my life and priorities.

I'm about to start working in a completely different environment for the first time in over 8 years.
I am both afraid and elated at the possibility.
When I look ahead I feel like Mufasa & Symba on the the big cliff over looking the entire world. I can hear that deep voice saying "everything the light touches is ours" except on my vast desert of possibilities before me I see visions of happy little day dreams and imaginings of things that will live in my future possibility.

I know it sounds totally and completely cheeze ball, but this is how I imagine it. The open space ahead of me, and the voice on my shoulder saying don't be afraid,  you are smart, you are amazing,  you will be awesome....

No matter what happens from here, I feel in my core that the path ahead is the path I need to go down.
The road less traveled is the road for me.

I'm excited to live my life. To enjoy my family.  To learn and experience new things. To be challenged.


This is the beginning of my second stage of major growth. I can feel it.