As I went on with my little tale my husband snorted and kind of brushed off my fantasy with a loud exhale and my inner child got her panties in a wad and thought, he just doesn't get me.
The truth is, it had been a trying week or so and it was filled with other adults giving me well meaning advice about being practical & logical; while dismissing my day dreams and fantasies & I was just tiered of hearing it.
I feel so out of place sometimes in the big old adult world. Here I am, miss over sharer, self expressed, dreamer.
My big mouth likes to loudly proclaim my inner thoughts, feelings, and all my big dreams to the world while I get eye rolls, & logical and practical advice in return.
Sometimes too much adulthood deflates me like a balloon.
Other times I sit back and reflect, on the reactions and the words I receive and I feel sad for all those logical responsible adults out there.
I quietly agree with my inner self instead, that I do not want to be that way.
The only times I hate who I am is when the adults out there wake the adult inside me that tries to belittle and suppress the dreaming, bleeding heart, self expressed, sappy ass hippie dippie lover inside of me..... and I hate that.
I like leading my life with my heart & dreaming up fantasy realities where I can grow an entire organic garden beside my earth ship on the mountain by the sea, in my homemade tie dye threads, while listening to my records powered by my solar panels even though I cannot even keep an aloe vera plant alive.
Some of that shit might never happen, but you know what? Some of that shit IS going to happen, and it will be rad when it does.
If there is one thing I have learned, and keep learning as the people I know live practical lives until they get sick and die, it's this:
We all have to live right now. We don't have to leave our souls and our hearts at the edge of adulthood, and dreaming is not just ok, it's awesome.
Chew on that.
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